.UGH._.Marriage. [yyuucckk!]

I'm jealous of all those people that I know that are either already married, or are going to get married.

I'm not saying I don't like marriage. It's great.

I just don't like hearing it from everyone all the damn time!

The reason I'm jealous of the ones that are married or are about to marry, is because they've already found the love of their life in such short time. They've found the person whom they want to spend the rest of their life with and it makes me sick! Only because I thought I found the love of my life. But NO! He has to break up with me.

For a while now I was unsure if he broke my heart. He didn't break me. Not now anyway.

.Heyy.Jealousy.

So...I'm jealous.

I'm jealous of Tyler. I'm jealous of his girlfriend.

I'm jealous of my sister. I'm jealous of her husband.

I don't have anyone like they do.

I want someone like my brother-in-law, minus the army.

I want someone like Tyler, minus the two year difference.

I miss having someone...and I'm jealous.

-Kimmykins-&-ramblings

So, it's been one of those wild rides. [Life]

I say something I never believed, but it made sense for some reason, and for some time it ruined my life. It only ruined my life because it scarred the relationship I had between a very close friend that I call [and think of as] my sister.

I felt better knowing that she was there for me. I enjoyed talking to her every chance I got, about our boys.

But now, my boy is gone, she's moved on, she's living her life like I wish I could. [have my own place just to get away from my pesky brother]

I can't really hate someone, I don't even hate my ex. I never thought I could. I never wanted to. I couldn't hate anyone I care about, I couldn't even hate her. I can't. I won't. I don't. I never will.

When I tell someone that I love them, I mean it, and I'll mean it forever. I just wish everyone knew that.

I can get mad at someone. I can yell at someone. I can tell someone off. I can hit someone.

When I get mad it doesn't last long. When I yell at someone I usually wish I didn't. When I tell someone off, half the time I don't mean what I say. When I hit someone, I almost always regret it afterwards and feel bad. Usually.

-haunted- Moundsville Penitentiary

So I went to the "haunted" Moundsville Penitentiary, Sunday, July 22, 2007, with my cousins Cory and Travis. Does it look haunted? I think it kinda does.

I felt weird when I went in. At first I thought it was no big deal, just a prison, but as soon as the guy was talking about what went on and we got to the cells I got a weird feeling like I was being watched. I felt this weird vibe like we weren't alone. I'm not the one to really fall for the whole thing, I mean, I'll believe it if I see it. I'm interested in that sort of thing, but I guess having a feeling for something is just as strong than seeing something. It usually is. That goes for many things, but I won't get into that right now. [at least not in this post]

Back to the hauntedness of the Penitentiary.

I took pictures of the outside of the Penitentiary, they came out great [as you can see from the picture above]. After we went inside the Penitentiary we went back out into one of the rec yards. I took pictures out there and those turned out great also. We went back inside and I took pictures of the cells and a few other things, those didn't come out at all! The negative strips are BLANK!!! [no joke!] So when we go back in a few weeks, I'm taking my digital camera [I had 2 disposable cameras from CVS that day] and I'm going to see if I can pick anything interesting up. Thing is, half the pictures I took inside, the lights were on, so I don't know why they didn't come out.

My theory is...the ghosties got my pictures.

It's pretty spooky...

I really want to take a night tour and a flashlight tour. Who knows, I'd go to the haunted house they hold there every Halloween, but I couldn't go alone...and not just my dad either. LOL

_Uhm_

i like all the wrong guys

they're either taken

or just not for me

or my parents don't approve and hope it's just a 'one-way crush'

i mean, ok, fine...i'll find the right guy one day. sure, maybe he'll find me. but why can't i just stop liking all these guys who won't ever like me?

i know, i can't help who i like...i can have any guy i want, it's just...the ones i do, don't and wouldn't want me...it's all one-sided.

*sigh*

!_WH00P_!

_DOOD!

so, yea...

everyone knows about my crush on tyler...blah...thanx to CARL for REMINDING HIM ! !

it's not my fault i think he's cute.

and if tyler ever read this, well, now you know. i confess. big deal ! it's not like it matters anyway ! ! !